Parenting is in not panicking. But feel free to panic.


Since I’m in the poor man’s business of giving opinions, here’s one I like to hand out to struggling moms:

I usedsusan2 to think the goals of all parents, big and small, were just a derivative of a singular goal – which is to not screw their children up as much as their parents screwed them up. Family business is tough.

But the reality is you’re going to screw your kids up in an entirely new way. Make it fun! Make it exciting! But keep the damage to a minimum. Therapy can get pretty expensive. Image Continue reading


People Matter.

When I was little, I had a Jewish friend named Sally. When it came time for me to be baptized, I told my mom how excited I was to tell Sally about my decision. My thrill was smashed by one of those adult ideas that 10 year-olds don’t understand. She told me that Jewish folks don’t believe Jesus was the son of God.


Wait a minute. Isn’t that what this whole dunk is all about? I profess my faith that Jesus was the Messiah. I am cleansed of my sins and find eternal life in heaven. And more pressing here, those that don’t adhere to the Good News are doomed to eternal damnation in the flaming pits of hell. That’s what you guys said, right?


I’m going to heaven, right? Continue reading

A lovely rant about butts and things.

susan10Look, here’s the deal, all of my feelings can basically be classified in two major mood groups: “Punch Things” and “Hug Things.” Some people want to get technical and call this Bi-Polar, but whatever. I ain’t diagnosed, playa. And anyway, I think it’s applicable to all humanity. We have love and hate. We have good and evil. Are you trying to tell me the fundamental nature of all mankind is bi-polar? It would help explain Michele Bachman, but that doesn’t make it a fact. (For reimbursement of cheap jokes, please see the man behind the curtain.) Continue reading